A hand I wished I’d never touched 

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For many years now I’ve believed that if I forced myself to dream of somebody, I will eventually be with this person as in a love relationship. This indeed happened to me 3 years ago: I kept evoking dreams about a knight, and a while later, we officially became together.

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This notwithstanding the forced dreams, I’ve fallen in love with others and they loved me back. Yet, we’ve never come to agree to (officially) be together…

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There is this recurring dream which keeps coming to me since I was a kid, and it's never been that significant for me. However, more incidents lately are obliging me to recall it: A hand, or two, are harshly rubbing my face, annoyingly blocking my sight,
and violently holding my breath. In my bed at my parents house, I’ve dreamt of our neighbour’s hand or hands – I can’t clearly remember – kneading my face as if it was
a pizza dough being prepared for baking. Mum always convinced herself that that woman, our neighbour, practices sorcery, and that my dream is nothing but a product of witchcraft.

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Yesterday, I went to a man’s house in the southern part of the city whom I’ve been sexting for a while to fist him, and I was asked to choose between black and ordinary white latex gloves. I chose the blacks without hesitation.